Thursday, August 13, 2009

Live in or live out!!

I know i have been playing tau rant since long on my blog.Some recent incidents dragged me away from it.Generally I am the 3rd-4th person who post a comment on my favorite ZB,Aparna and sujata blog and now i ended up being the last one.In fact they have moved two post ahead before i catch the previous one.Anyway,will try catching them up again religiously.:)

Time flies away at least the effortless one.A year back when apprehension of getting married and to whom flourished in me I literary had goose bumps thinking about it.But now I am some what at peace with my mind.Marriage almost solves your biggest problem or may be I should say a life partner of your desire solves all your biggest apprehension.But Marriage brings bounteous changes in a women.Today I take myself more responsible for things which I never thought.Now i value my life more as there are many life attached with me.My thoughts and action affect people around me.It did before also but now at a greater degree of extent.Responsibility comes in different form for instance If i don't feel like cooking I realize there is my husband who wish for dinner at night after having a oily mid day meal in his office. I can easily say no to him but his health is my concerned too now.I wish for healthy him through out his life.

I really wonder what will happen If i have kids.Trying to make there every day best and making sure there life runs as smooth as possible will drive me nuts i guess.These changes were never realized and were never expected before marriage.All was expected was a life partner and loads of fun:D.

What made me write this post is due to my recent encounter with a women.Women is in her late 20s .She is a director of a company.And how she became a director is a simple tale.Difficult it may sound but MD of the company is her boyfriend so must have been a easy ride for the lady.MD is a pass out of IIT and IIM and started his own venture .They both met and than they say rest is history.Living in a posh colony and running there venture and making it big is there ultimate goal .This women doesn't believe in holy matrimony and always questions it.She called marriage as a stamp and believed it to be an end of women liberation.Surprising part was every person in the organization consider it true.Employees in there 30s had no intention to get married.Of course desire to have a girlfriend or boyfriend and a live in relationship was not a problem at all.

If I would have happen to come across these people a year ago my perception of this organization have been so called FAB.But now as I am married today I know the difference between a boyfriend and a husband.Distinction between two is like of a mother who has given birth to a child and a women who has adopted one to avoid labor pain.Years of live in can never bring that affection ,concern and love what marriage brings.Vary desire to make every thing possible as option of escape doesn't exist is untraceable in a live in relationship.

Sad part is as employees idealize their directors they have happened to follow the same loop which in turn has helped the organization in big way.They make employees work for 12hrs and make them feel proud about themselves as they are liberated.But i really wonder for what purpose on earth they are born.To live a commitment free life with no family ?These kind of women are generally disowned by their families .Their desire to achieve success at every cost will ever make them an ideal person in their own eyes?


  1. I liked the metaphor you mentioned of Mother and that of Boyfriend/husband. SO true, feel the same.

    Rest of the things just happens in life. Our problem is, we plan and think toooooo much, way too much than necessary and thats the root of our sufferings. You are married, one day you would have children too. Its a life process, let it take its own course.Dont worry, when you are ready for that, the surroundings would change and things automatically work out towards that cause.

    We have no say on most of the things thats going to happen in our life. So chill. TC:))

  2. You comment reminds me of Bhagwat gita saying-

    "What have you lost that makes you cry? What did you bring to this earth that you have lost? You came empty handed and will die empty handed. Today what is yours - yesterday was someone else's and tomorrow will belong to someone else. Whatever materialistic pleasures you have cause you sufferings."

  3. I love it. Nice post. Will continue to read.

  4. Good to know that your marriage is coming on well...not everyone is fortunate though

  5. to each his own anamika :)
    lord is there to decide, and all we do here is just play our part

  6. dont mind me saying this, but none of us can actually conceive what people think. to the liberal women whose existence you just questioned, i think i may have an answer. what i personally feel is that, that is their goal, they want to live the high heel life without really having to go through the commitment thingy, cuz once u r married sum things change. a word called loyalty comes in. you may say i am wrong (like i usually am :P) but that is the thing. well written and well though i must say. :)

  7. Aww I like the way you are being concerned about your husband's dinner..shows you are a newly wed, a blushing bride!!Congrats! stay happy and stay well together always. Also thansk for taking my name in your list of favourites, am really honoured. Ok now coming to the post..

    I personally dont have any opinion on live ins, I know I might not be able to deal with the insecurity of the whole thing, marriage is comfort zone, the entire family, is with you, you can laugh and cry together, share it all the ups and the downs with them, live in on the contrary till now, in India is not really acceptable so its just the couple who have to deal alone with the entire thing. Another thing I am unsure of are kids..what happens? Dont they want kids? Yet on another level it makes sense in a way, its better than many messy marriages that we have, you dont have to deal witrh the issues of a court divorce if things come to that.

  8. You are one of them whose post and stories really excites me.
    I completely agree with you in my opinion if you don want commitment that indicates your insecurity towards the relationship.Anything intolerable and zapped you are ,away from the relationship.No kids,no commitment and only wishing of great success that too without your own effort makes no big deal.

  9. came here blog hopping..hmm...this is a contentious post.. I guess every body has his/her own perspective of doesn't always need commitment. But to some extent I agree with you atleast in the Indian context!!

    nice blog!!